In the process of interacting with the world, we find that there are two “control points” that determine our interactive experience: external control points and internal control points. If you feel that everything is under your control, then you are in the state of an internal control point; conversely, if you feel that everything is predestined and you can only passively accept it, then it is the moment when the external control point acts upon you.
We can imagine these two control points as the two poles of a number line; one end representing the internal and the other pointing to the external. An individual’s actual perceived control point may fluctuate between these two extremes, sometimes leaning towards internal control and sometimes towards external control. There is an autonomous need in the brain that drives us to want to dominate our own lives, rather than being driven by the outside world.
Therefore, when we find that our control point is biased towards the external, adverse stress responses can occur. Some people may have intense emotional reactions, constantly trying to pull the control point back, while others may indulge in depression, hopelessness, and fatigue, eventually giving up resistance and letting the control point veer away. Regardless of the reaction, they all reflect an extreme state. Impulsive people may lose their reason, and those who give up may gravitate towards “learned helplessness.”
However, the appropriate way to handle this is to keep emotions stable and clearly recognize that whether currently under the influence of internal control or external control, this state is temporary and will not linger on one side forever. With this cognition, we can better manage our emotions and behaviors, thus improving the dominance of our lives.
